Suzanna and the elders
Why girls shouldn’t bathe outdoors

Susanna, a beautiful young wife, was falsely accused by two old men of adultery. When she was taking a bath in her garden, having sent her attendants back to the house to take soap and oil, the two saw her and demanded to have sex. When she refused, they accused her of meeting a young man in the garden and making love.

Susanna was arrested and appeared before the court. On the words of the two elders who were also judges, the people wanted to put her to death for promiscuity when a young man in the audience named Daniel interrupted the proceedings. Spurred on by the Holy Spirit, Daniel demanded that the elders be questioned to prevent the death of an innocent individual. The two men were then separated and each was asked by Daniel under which tree did he see the couple. Each named a tree different from what the other said. The people realised the elders were lying and promptly put them to death.

Susanna and the Elders appeared as Chapter 13 in the book of Daniel in the Old Testament. The encounter provides a pretext for countless artists to paint scenes of nude girls with perky breasts being harassed by dirty old men. In some paintings, one of the old men was seen grasping Susanna’s breast. For curious Christian gentlemen who want to look up the story (for educational purpose only), it is not found in the ordinary Bible, but in a special edition known as the Apocryphal.

There are of course spiritual lessons to learn from this simple tale: for girls, it is a bad idea to bathe outdoors where dirty old men might lurk; for dirty old men,  if you need a fuck, pay.

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